There’s seriously nothing more frustrating than when your little one refuses to nap in their crib on their own!!
It’s not about them skipping naps altogether. It’s just that they will only nap if they’re ON you. I know…I’ve been there too!
In the beginning, we adore those newborn snuggles. As someone who is both a pediatric sleep consultant and a mom, I truly believe in cherishing those cuddles with a new baby. Enjoying those close contact naps in the beginning is wonderful and bonding, but as your baby grows, you might be ready for them to nap in their own space.
Why Does My Baby Only Nap on Me?
If your baby will only nap on you, it doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.
In fact, contact naps are incredibly common, especially during the newborn stage.
Babies spend nine months being held, rocked, and soothed in the womb. After birth, many babies naturally seek the warmth, movement, heartbeat, and comfort of being close to a caregiver.
Some common reasons babies prefer contact naps include:
- Feeling safe and secure
- Difficulty transitioning between sleep cycles
- An immature nervous system
- Sleep associations that have developed over time
- Overtiredness
- Developmental changes or sleep regressions
For many families, contact naps begin as a survival strategy. The challenge is that over time, some babies become dependent on being held in order to stay asleep.
Are Contact Naps Bad?
Many parents worry they have created a bad habit by allowing contact naps.
The answer is no.
Contact naps are not inherently bad. In fact, they can be a wonderful opportunity for bonding and connection.
The real question is whether contact naps are working for your family.
If you enjoy contact naps and they fit your lifestyle, there may be no reason to change them.
However, if contact naps are preventing you from getting things done, caring for other children, returning to work, or getting needed rest yourself, it may be time to begin teaching more independent sleep skills.
The goal is not to take away connection. The goal is to help your child learn additional ways to fall asleep and stay asleep.
how to help baby nap peacefully in their crib
pick a time and commit
Tip #1: Let’s kick off nap training by choosing a specific day on the calendar. Get ready for a change! Pick a day to start and commit to it. Don’t make any big plans for the next couple of days and just plan to be home and not commit to any big outings or events. Make sure you have a plan in place before you start.
Start with the first nap
Tip #2: Start with the first nap of the day. This nap is like an extension of nighttime sleep for babies, so it is usually easier for them to fall asleep for the first nap. Focus on helping your little one fall asleep in the crib during this first nap. You can sit beside them, gently patting or shush them to create a new association with sleep in their crib. Let’s help them make this new connection during their best sleeping time – the first nap of the day!
the nap enviroment is everything
Tip #3: Checking the nap environment is crucial. For babies aged 0-12 weeks, swaddling provides a sense of security for better sleep. I recommend swaddling newborns and ensuring a dark room to aid sleep for all ages. If they are beyond swaddling, make sure they are dressed comfortably and warm enough for a nap on their own.
Next, You’ll want to make sure the room is dark…like dark dark, can’t see your hand in front of your face dark!
There are many benefits to having a dark room for sleep. To make sure it’s dark enough, go into your baby’s room and close the doors and curtains. What does it look like? Do you see any light peeping through?
There are several products on the market for room darkening. I recommend getting something for the windows and for under the doors.
Consistancy is key
Tip #4: Patience and consistency are key. Perfect crib naps may take time to happen. It requires time and persistence. If it’s been 30 minutes of trying and they still haven’t slept, go out of the room into the light for a break and offer a feed before trying again. Don’t let your baby fall asleep during this feed. After this, try again with the crib. If the second attempt doesn’t work, then you should move on with your day. If your attempts to get them to nap in the crib fail, offer them a nap in the carrier, the car, or the stroller and just move on with the day. You can try again for the first nap of the day tomorrow!
Grant yourself and your baby grace
Seriously mama, It’s so worth it! I understand the struggle of helping your baby develop good sleep habits – it’s tough and tiring. But trust me, starting good sleep routines early on with your child is totally worth it.
Quick Tips
If you’re aiming to get your baby to nap in the crib, here’s what you can do:
- Choose a day to kick off nap training and mark it on your calendar
- Begin with the first nap of the day
- Ensure the nap environment is just right
- Stay patient and stick to the plan
- Remember, it’s all worth it
Let’s Get Your Child Sleeping Through The Night
Just think, in as little as 1 to 3 days, you may ALL be sleeping better through the night!
When Do Babies Outgrow Contact Naps?
Many parents are told to simply wait it out.
While some babies naturally become more independent sleepers as they grow, others continue relying on contact naps well into toddlerhood.
Every child is different.
Some babies begin transitioning away from contact naps around 4 to 6 months, while others continue preferring them much longer.
Rather than focusing on a specific age, it can be more helpful to ask:
“Is our current sleep situation working for our family?”
If the answer is no, there are gentle ways to help your child develop independent sleep skills without sacrificing connection and responsiveness.
Frequently asked Questions
Q: Is it okay if my baby only naps on me?
Yes. Contact naps are common and can provide comfort, security, and connection. The decision to change them depends on whether they are working for your family and lifestyle.
Q: How do I transition my baby from contact naps to crib naps?
Start gradually by creating a consistent nap routine, practicing independent sleep skills, and introducing crib naps one step at a time. Patience and consistency are key.
Q: At what age should babies stop contact naps?
There is no specific age when babies must stop contact napping. Some naturally transition to independent sleep while others benefit from gentle guidance and sleep training support.
Q: Can contact naps cause sleep problems?
Contact naps themselves are not harmful. However, if a baby becomes dependent on being held to fall asleep, it may contribute to difficulties with independent sleep and frequent night wakings.
You're not alone, mama
If you are in the thick of it, just know that you aren’t alone. Every struggle you face is preparing you for something bigger. Hang in there, mama—you’ve got this!
If you’re tired of all the searching, tried other methods that have failed, and you’re looking for someone to hold your hand through the sleep training process, consider booking a call with one of our sleep consultants. We use a more gentle approach versus leaving your little one to cry and typically get results in as little as the first 1-3 days!
Book a call by clicking the link below to see how we can help you.
Author Naomi Shepler is a pediatric sleep consultant and mom of three, helping families throughout the Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania area build healthy sleep habits through gentle, personalized sleep training. Drawing from both her professional training and her own parenting experience, Naomi guides families toward better sleep with compassionate support and customized plans. Learn more at: fabuloussleepsolutions.com